“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”
— James 1:17
What a difference a little sleep can make.
After several restless nights, I finally took a Tylenol PM and slept a full six hours. When I woke up, something felt different—lighter. My morning routine flowed with a kind of ease I haven’t felt in weeks.
I walked at a decent pace, enjoyed my coffee, and even managed to read through all of my email messages without zoning out or tearing up. I took a shower while listening to an audiobook and then put on a new dress—two sizes smaller than what I wore just a few months ago. It fits perfectly. I love this dress. Somehow, wearing it today made me feel like I was stepping into something new, even if just for a moment.
Tuesday afternoons are movie days for a group of my neighbors, and I decided to go. My best friend Terri came along—we had lunch beforehand and caught the new Brad Pitt and Javier Bardem film, F1.
I honestly didn’t expect much, but it was surprisingly good. It had heart and a great storyline. During one scene, I suddenly thought, “Matthew would love this.” He was a racing fan, although not Formula 1 - he used to race dirt track cars in Senoia. I didn’t know him back then, but I loved hearing those stories. He spoke about racing with such energy… just one more facet of the man I loved so deeply.
I got teary-eyed once, just briefly, but kept it quiet. No one noticed and the rest of the movie carried me forward.
Somehow, today turned out to be the best day I’ve had since losing him. Nothing spectacular or grand happened—I didn’t win a prize or take a trip.
I just lived.
I just survived.
But it felt almost normal. And I’ll take almost normal, even if it is only for one day.
Because today, it didn’t hurt quite as much.
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.” —Psalm 147:3
